Be yourself. That was pretty obviously what the giant man was telling Larke. She knew that, of course, she'd just started to have odd thoughts once she learned she had magic for killing dragons despite having to heard bugs into jars to take out of her room instead of having the ability to squash them. She wasn't the most worried about being normal though, so much as she was bothered by not having a memorable past or having strange abilities that her father had never explained to her.
"I actually only just barely know how to make the small ice shapes..." Larke admitted with a nervous chuckle. "And how to freeze things if I concentrate. I guess I'm a pretty bad wizard too, since I can only do things when I need to or my mind thinks it needs to because I'm afraid..." When she'd met Razhiel, she'd been surprised by something minor and had retreated almost instantly into an armored ice shell; she could deconstruct it easily enough, but she had had no idea how she'd actually done such a thing. Anything much bigger than a trinket and her magic tended to fizzle when she tried to concentrate on it. "In Valland... where I came from... I heard we don't have too many wizards and that my abilities would be super special there too."
"Well your magic is probably better for being creative and intricate designs, as a fire mage power is really all I have, getting clever is how a fire mage wins fights because everyone expects them to be a meat head who can only power his way through a situation, I mean I can do a few surprising things with my magic but when push comes to shove I always ends up putting as much power into a spell as I can manage at the time. At least being non-violent and not having fire magic you are locked into the trap of being reliant on pure power, or really fighting in general." He said in a light hearted tone.
"Oh yeah I noticed that to when I visited once, though strangely enough they had a lot of books on magic and magical theory. Must have been interested in Fiore's abundance of wizards or something." He reasoned, giving a smile. "Small Ice shapes is still more than I can do with my fire magic I have one spell that allows me that kinda freedom and it's only useful to me if I put an obnoxious amount of energy into it and then it loses it's ability to make those shapes. Either or not both I guess." he said snapping his fingers and summoning a Dancing flame it changed colors vibrantly and shapes for a second then suddenly became a heat torch as he concentrated on it. Then the exhaustion set back in and the spell died out rather quickly.
"Well I mean... you couldn't really do any ice shapes with fire magic I think..." Larke reasoned. It made sense that elements worked differently; just because she'd been gifted with dragon slayer magic somehow didn't really mean she couldn't grasp other types. Actually Larke was pretty well-learned for someone with an extreme case of amnesia. "If I had fire magic would I like spicy foods more?" Larke had decided she didn't like spicy foods; one of the few differences between her and Kotone (though it was mostly because Larke was far wimpier and more sheltered). She looked thoughtful about this for a moment; she did adore snow cones and frozen treats, after all.
"You know, I bet if you didn't look at your fire magic as like, a gun and more like a canvas you'd be able to shape it better." Atrum didn't strike Larke as much of an artist; the way he spoke just made her think of a great warrior, which was cool... just it didn't lead to cool things. "I mean... you have a lot more practice than I do and I still freeze or break things by accident because I'm a clumsy dufus but if you use it to fight things I bet you're a lot better than me, right?"
Larke watched with interest when Atrum created a flame that danced and changed colors before becoming more like a welding torch and then dying out. "See! Miss Razhiel told me I had to focus on it and shape it into what I wanted with my mind. Before that I could maybe make a ball of ice and that was it. I bet you're thinking about it too much and not feeling the magic you're putting out. So you're using too much magic and brain power." She was just jabbering ideas; she barely knew how to put her own ideas into practice. A hand shot up and adjusted her hat before pulling it off and scratching her head. The way she hooked her hair behind her ear thoughtfully was actually rather Kotone-like. Not that she knew it.
"Geh heh." Atrum chuckled at Larke's mention of liking spicy food more, and shook his head. "I do not think it works that way, the spice in most spicy food is made by a chemical certain plants and not really because of- well that's not really important." He said realizing he was about to go into the specifics of plant biology. He did stop laughing when she mentioned looking at his magic as less of a gun and more like a canvas. He blinked mildly insulted, why would he ever think of his magic as anything other than his magic? It was a part of him like his arms or legs, you wouldn't say the same things about those would you? He tried not to let it show however, she was Vallish and had a different perspective on these things, He guessed tat others would look at their magic as something foreign like that but it still annoyed him.
"I have had longer to practice, it is the way of things. The longer you have to refine your ability the better at it you will be. Well unless there is something specifically keeping you from advancing forwards..." He responded matter of factly. "You might be on to something there though, I do have to concentrate a lot more than when I am doing other things to cast spells. It is not a simple point and shoot for me, I guess my magic does not fully agree with me then." He said scratching at his head, noting the Kotone mannerisms Larke displayed. Yeah He was pretty sure he wasn't jumping to conclusions here.
"Well yeah but I mean... er, nevermind I'm a dork..." Larke's cheeks reddened as a bit as she realized that spicy food and cold foods weren't really the same concept. She knew that already but it hadn't helped her in that moment when she opened her mouth. Thanks for that, brain. She clasped her hat in front of her lap with both hands as she stood there, feeling a bit awkward after having said something so dumb; she was the daughter of a scientist she should remember science for pete's sake! And who was pete? No wait that was something to ask later when she wasn't feeling so awkward.
"The only thing keeping me from moving forwards is... I don't really... all the wizards I hear about are warriors and heroes or villans and I'm just... me. Larke the weird girl with dragon powers from nowhere..." she cast her gaze off to the side. She didn't have the right attitude to be a warrior. Her fiery personality always came into light when it came to adventure or knowledge, never throwing a punch or creating an ice blizzard. Her amber eyes turned back to Atrum for a moment before falling back to the ground. "For the most part... point and shoot is all I know how to do. Once someone surprised me when they sneezed and suddenly I had a wall of ice between us... I don't even know how I did it..."
The giant raised an eyebrow at Larke and smirked, it was kinda fun having the advantage over Kotone like this even if it wasn't really Kotone. Larke was a bit of a ditz but she was cute and definitely less abrasive than Kotone, she'd be fine though, he was sure when push came to shove she was the same at heart. Maybe not a warrior but definitely not a pushover either, huh odd why was he concerned over her future? He barely knew her and he was convince she was a double as well, his people didn't really have a concept of cloning(with the exception of Ater). As far as the giant was concerned she was basically a long lost little sister to his favorite Dragon Slayer.
"It is fine I did tell you to be yourself , even if yourself is a bit of a dork." He lightly teased patting her head instinctively, he gave her another grin when she spoke about other wizards. "Well I guess, most of these 'Heros and Warriors and Villains' are actively searching for power so I supposed they would become well known." He said thinking about it he gave a shrug Looks like her problem was more of a drive thing. She really didn't have it in her to use her magic like the other mages around, He couldn't help her do what everyone else did, but she didn't need his help with that. "Well I can not say that I am the Wizard to help you master your magic, but I can offer a bit of advice I got from my mother she taught me how to use magic in the first place." He said smiling. "Though from the way you talk it's possible you might already have the basic idea down." He ventured a guess.
Larke actually would have really liked to ask Princess Razhiel to be her mentor back when she'd met her originally. She'd helped the young ice user out immensely when it came to understanding her enhanced senses and the most basic part of her ice magic. Larke looked up at Atrum curiously when he agreed she was a dork. 'Gee, thanks, way to build up my confidence...'
"What was your mom's advice?" she asked instead of voicing her inner sarcasm. "I mean, I dunno if I'd know it or not... I don't exactly think about my magic that much so I'm probably, you know, missing something that would help me use it..."
"And... the only things I've been told are 'You have special magic, Larke' by my dad and 'You have dragon slayer magic also you have to picture what you're shaping with it' by Miss Razhiel... so..." Larke wished people would give her more information. It was like she got the bare minimum every single time.
"The Bare minimum? Well then let me see if I remember enough of what she taught me to help you at least use your magic." He started cracking his knuckles, he straightened up and his expression softened from exhausted to more fatherly. "Well cutting out the more...violent parts of her teachings lets start up with the basic idea what your magic is. Let us see her speech was a bit preachy... 'Your magic is just an extension of your lifeforce, that is why when you drain your magic power you are prone to physical exhaustion. Mastering it is to master yourself which means you got a long road ahead of y-' Actually you probably do not need the insults she gave me." he said laughing aloud at the memory. "She taught me to not think about what I was doing but just do it, like walking or talking, you do not need to think about a lot of things you wanna say or which way you go that often but then again maybe you want to change directions or change subjects." He said trying to summarize the overall message a bit.
"The actual use of your magic should be instinctual, no thought behind it should be necessary. Not to say that you should separate active thought from the use of your magic, just that you should not need it to use it, you are an ability type wizard after all your magic should work easily without much thought by it's very nature. Do not Think, Feel." He summed up the basic idea in about a sentence he was trying to avoid talking her ear off, and just give her the info she needed. "Now I do not know how your magic feels to you, but to me It feels much like my muscles, if I focus I can direct it to do complicated things but I do not need to think hard to lift my arm, as such I do not need to think hard to luanch a fire attack. So first up in figuring out how your magic works for you, once there we can teach you the basics of using your magic when you want to and maybe seeing how creative you can get with it if you progress far enough. But for now one step at a time. We get your magic working and you will be free to progress on your own terms." He said, she technically never asked him for help just the advice, Atrum had a bad habit of shoving his nose in other people's business apparently. Still he wanted to help Larke, if only because she seemed like a nice girl, and Atrum was a pretty damn good judge of character If he was being a bit generous.
(ugh got too distracted all week to post so here I am!)
"But Mister Atrum..." Larke looked at him, both confused and a bit timid about voicing her opinion regardless of what he'd said, mostly because he probably wouldn't like what she was saying. "I don't... nothing I do is instinctual I think... Dad says I think too much though..." She deflated a bit. She knew she could do things in like, emergencies when she was extremely surprised or scared, but she didn't even know if she could count that.
"I um..." she had to think for a moment. "My magic feels... like my magic?" It wasn't her muscles, it wasn't her skin or her lungs or even clothes. It was magic. It was special and not everyone had it, but she was hardly in touch with it. "Is that why I'm no good with it?" she had to ask; it wasn't like it hadn't occurred to her, despite the excuses. "I don't really know that much... sorry..."
"Yes, that might be a part of it, your magic is a part of you, separate but inseparable from your being. not being intune with your own magic is a bit like not knowing fully about yourself, you are not complete. So to speak." He said giving her a kind smile. "Do not get disheartened, this is not uncommon, many of us struggle to even understand that our magic is a part of us." He said smirking at his own rocky training in the magic. "I am not really a teacher and it is not like you asked me to teach you but still I am a bit at a loss as to how to teach you how to get in tune with yourself. You are not me so my method will not work for you." He finished.
"Look do not worry about it too much it is not like you failed some sort of test or something, you only just started learning right? Look little one, I may not be the smartest guy out there, Hell I often find I am not even the most powerful man out there and those that beat me in battle keep telling me that I have a lot to learn despite my life long training. I get angry, my people strive to be the best at fighting, and here I am one of the last of us and I keep getting my teeth kicked in." He let out a laugh at that. "Yeah I get frustrated, angry, depressed even, but hells if I stop trying, or lose hope then I will just fall apart." He leaned back and looked up and gave a heavy sigh.
"I know I am talking your ear off Larke and I am sorry for talking at length unnecessarily, You look to me like you might be heading down a dangerous path. I guess I might just want to help someone before I disappear again. Or maybe i am just scared, either way it does not really matter. I have no doubt that you will be fine, Fiore has a habit of throwing the people you need to see at you eventually, you will meet someone who can help you eventually." He said closing his eyes, he was really tired, but he didn't want to pass out. not out here at least, not right now. Too dangerous.
Last Edit: Dec 6, 2015 20:43:10 GMT by Atrum Furea
Larke was a bit confused. Theoretically, Atrum's method should work for her in some way. It was drawing magic outward, after all, but... maybe it was an individual thing. If that was true... why have teachers? Were they more like mentors or coaches? Larke wished she had more actual experience with magic or people who knew about magic on a personal level. It was so infuriating sometimes that she was supposed to be special in a way her dad wouldn't explain and other people couldn't!
Larke turned red as she realized she'd stopped listening to Atrum after his initial part of his little speech. She tuned in in time to realize she was being told she'd meet someone who could help her with her magic. "Er, yeah!" she nodded, agreeing. "There's other dragon slayers out there. Ones that... actually slay dragons and stuff..." Poor dragons. "So I'll find one of them maybe? Cause I hear some of them live here!" She'd pepped up a bit, if only to be convincing to Atrum, and her arms she'd raised a bit dropped again while she watched him. "Are you okay, Atrum, sir?"
The giant blinked as Larke attention focused on him, wow he must really have something wrong with him if she was worried or something. He tried to relax, no need to worry the little one, she had her own issues. He was just getting some rest, he'd be fine, just a bit more relaxation and he'd be ready to go. He scratched the Vargr's head as she looked up at him apparently worried as well now that Larke was drawing attention to his condition. This was just embarrassing, wow.
" I am fine, I ran into something that was way too strong for me to fight and it chased me around the country for...a long time. I am just tired, it might be affecting my thought process, and running my mouth a bit more than I should." He said, putting his hand up trying to wave off her concern. Hells something was mentally wrong with him as well, all he did was complain... Yeah no, enough of this, this was blazing pathetic of him, he shouldn't be doing nothing but worrying others and complaining. As soon as he was back up to one hundred percent he was fixing this problem. Then he was going to find a way to beat his doppleganger into the ground so hard that stupid blank face of it's inverted back into it's skull. "Speaking of the other dragon slayers....Well the ones I know personally are not exactly what I would call 'mentor material'." He trailed off, hells Tastuma and Raven he was iffy just having around young an impressionable people, not that they were bad people. Just that their behavior was a tad questionable and he would prefer if the younger generation didn't pick up on their bad habits, and to be fair the same applied to him.
((sorry for the long wait; combo of holidays and struggling to get back motivation to post))
Atrum was certainly running his mouth; Larke wasn't sure what to think of how much he tended to ramble. She understood all of it, but that was because she was smart and very quick to pick up on things. It still took her a few seconds to translate all of it, though. "Oh, if you want to rest I can leave you alone..." Larke suddenly felt bad for bothering the man. He was giving lessons while exhausted. "The town has lots of places for guests to stay... since... you know... there aren't a lot of actual houses around yet..." Most of the people here were the workforce here to either build the city at a rapid pace, or to sell to the people here. The Templars in their barracks or people like her father were the most permanent residents.
She realized he'd made a comment about the dragon slayers while she was trying to think how to help the man. Apparently dragon slayers weren't good mentors. Well, that was too bad. Maybe she really was on her own? Or maybe there were books she could find about dragon slayers! Era had a huge library from what she'd been told since moving here! "Aw. Well I bet they're good at other things... like... you know... the things I'm not good at... like... using their magic without breaking things..."
