The past stays with a person, even if they forget, our scars remind us of that fact. My past is inconsequential, unlike that of a Dragonslayer, or a Dragon, or an emperor. They always play some big role in history, records state that. Dragons are eternal, Dragonslayers are meant to be something bigger in history than a Dragon can ever be. A human to look up too, a hero or villain of childhood stories for instance. A role model, an idea, something that once it does something great, cannot die, no matter how much blood is spilt for its downfall.
Such was Vallands curse, a goal they could never live up to as the bloodline thinned. My arrogance made my scars, it made my past. The Arrogance of Valland lead to its downfall. It started oh so long ago, after the fall of the first emperor and his three brothers, four great men, for four great houses. Four men with a warning that wasn't heeded, and due to their children's irresponsibility, MY Irresponsibility we are all cursed. Valland cannot be redeemed, the death of Tanaka made that clear, the death of its faith made that clear. Valland was the first of our continent to fall to The Corruption of Diafthora.
Many treat it as a northerner myth, superstition, legend, nightmare story you tell to your child to make him behave. My scars reveal its truth, my past tells the myth, my horror the legend, my nightmares reveal the superstition. My name is Mattalaenaenwael Mal Neaninael Ariesline Zandleainflowkry, I am pure blooded Vallish, raised from poverty into a glorious life, punished with visions of power, of the future, I was foolish enough to believe what I saw as a gift. I was young, my fall was inevitable, as was vallands. Our destinies were intertwined. No, are, they still are.
When I was young, I was capable of seeing magic. All of it, the flow through the world, through the cosmos, through all living things. I could see it, I could feel it, understand it, and I used it. Little did I realize where this gift came from. Little did I realize how deep this rabbit hole went.
How I was the catalyst for the downfall of Earthland, and the fall of everything beautiful within reality.
It started when I was a scientist, I was studying the use of Aether for a separate more potent power source than magic. My ideas were grand, fluid, and would allow Valland to become the most powerful nation in the world, power for everyone, with no cost, infinite power, clean power, free. The world would be prosperous, and glorious when they realized valland was kind, and not cruel as the other nations thought us to be. I had a grand life, the emperor took notice of my ideas, Nox respected me as gifted, I was loved by my assistant Morgan, a gifted witch in her own right the world was my oyster. All at a cruel young age of 18. Four years ago, fate is the mistress of cruelty indeed.
In less than a year, my power took over my vision, it started as visions appearing in the corner of my eye, just a flicker, at first I thought it was just my mind playing tricks on me. But now when I close my eyes I can still see them, as if they were burned into my retina’s. The faces screaming in pain, their eyes wide, their skin blackened, changing, crumbling, as if made of paper, and just pulled out of a raging fire. It quickly spiraled into actual visions, vivid, and lifelike. I could walk forward and not leave my sitting position at my desk, I couldn't tell the difference between the two. Originally nothing was different, they seemed to just be like all the other visions, minor glimpses of the future, goods, happiness, glory. It wasn’t until looking back on them with my memories do I realize everything is a false happiness, a sort of creepy imagery that taunts humanity with soulless unnatural stares and smiles, black tinted rooms, as if unnaturally dark.
Morgan was the only thing that could really help me cling on to reality when it got so bad that I couldn’t tell the difference between reality and dream. She was capable of projecting her reality into a dream, or a dream into reality. She was really my anchor of all sorts, it was my fault for finding her that got her caught up into this mess. She wouldn't care now though, it was her choice to try to save me from my power, and I respect that.
The visions got worse, the cities were on fire, the world had turned on itself, wars were breaking out, valland was tearing itself apart first. The first step to victory, our victory, no my victory. I could feel it, it was me, trying to control me, trying to be me, it was in my body, in my mind. The voices wouldn’t shut up, the sound was deafening, I knew I was trying to scream at myself to stop, to wake up, but I wouldn't listen. I had already lost the battle of willpower, I had lost a long time ago. The feeling was like being weightless, all powerful, intoxicating and beautiful, yet all trapped within my skin, like the skin was a wall keeping the real me out. How I wanted to tear it apart, to rip my way to freedom. Then she stepped in, she walked in to save me, only to find something else wearing me.
She tried to take the feeling away from me, and I just got so scared, so angry, I had to protect it, I did what I had too. When my hands gripped around her throat she tried to pull herself out, and thats...when everything went wrong. I didn’t stop myself from choking her, I didn't have too, she was now the enemy. I had felt it, when Morgan tried to pull herself back into reality she pulled the unnatural force of power with it, I could feel it inside her. I realized in horror what was happening as it was happening, this force of power this gift, this blessing, wanted free, and it just got what it wanted, a vessel that could make all those dreams, those visions real. I had to stop it, I could see it had already won long ago, that this was all part of the cosmic plan. A prison escape planned long before Valland was even a thing.
I was supposed to run, to tell the people of what was coming, to be a harbinger of the end time, and lynched like a madman in turn. Simply a cog in its grand turning incalculable wheels. I could feel the dream ripping into reality, creating a bleed in it, tying the two undeniable realities into one. A giant hole, to where the feeling was, a hole in reality to a place where it was prisoned. I couldn't let it win, I shouldn't let it in. I fought the urge to run, I choked back my fear, I choked back my reason, I choked back the fact I had never been in a fight my entire life, and I lumbered into the hole, empty handed, and absolutely terrified. Together, me, her, and whatever was trying to rip its way into Eathland went into the dark, the pit. The experience was lucid, visions of my past flickered by, her past, Vallands past, Earthlands past.
It tasted of snow, its what I remember most, the chilling cold of the air, the feel against my skin when I hit the ground, the white powder against my face, the snapping of my arms, my ribs, I remember explicitly I lost all feeling from the hips down when we impacted, and the bones ripping out of my arm and directly under my chin, into my unprotected flesh, and directly into my mouth, and all I tasted was the snow. Then it all blurred together again, as I realized that too was just a vision, my eyes snapped back into perspective as I gripped tighter around its throat, redoubling my efforts I tightened my grip. I would not let this presence have its freedom, it would have to go through me first. It was hard, it had her face, her eyes, they were confused, lost, staring at me, at my soul.
It didn't help she wasn’t crying, the tears on her face were mine. It was awkward really, eventually she stopped struggling, and just stared at the sky above us. It was a pure crystal blue, she always liked that color, it reminded me of her eyes, she always tried to wear it somehow. Not a cloud in sight, on a day no one could remember because it was like every other day. Soon after that, the doctor in me told me she hadn’t breathed in fourteen minutes, she was dead by reason. It had felt like an eternity since I had opened my eyes, I couldn't bare to watch anymore, it hurt too much.
When I opened them, I couldn't see, it was pitch black, darkness was surrounding me. I reached with my hands forward, and all I could find was a sticky wall, I recoiled backwards not knowing what it was, and reacting with fear. My back pressed against another, thick liquid pouring over my shoulders, and sticking to me, pulling me closer. It didn't take me long to start screaming, I reached out as the floor started to swallow me, and I felt a hand, cold and empty. I felt this was it, I had finally gone mad, but the truth was I had gone mad when I was a child.
As the tar like liquid poured down my screaming throat, I started to choke, the pressure built around my throat, I tried to cough, but I couldn’t, I tried to breathe, but it was impossible. The pressure built until it closed in around my eyes, and I felt my face was about to burst, I forced my eyes shut, I tried to die with at least some dignity, but as I felt her hand slip away from my grip I had to open them. I knew it was pointless the room was dark, there was no light here.
I used all my force against the ten tons that my eyelids weighed, forcing them up to take in the sight that beheld me. Standing above me, with both his hands against my throat was myself, the look on his face was of abject horror, he was crying, like he was sorry he was strangling me. That he pitied that he had to do this FOR me, that he had no other choice. I tried to struggle, I tried to fight against his hands, my hands, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t breathe no matter how hard I tried, their grip tightened, and I felt the world start to go black in my vision. I reached with my right hand to grab his arm, but It was too heavy, the world was too heavy, I couldn't hold it anymore, and with that I lost all my strength and the world fell from my view.
The feeling was weightless, cold, like a lonely winter night, when you lay atop the snow. It lasted forever, and peace never really came, like being trapped in a dark cold room with nothing but your innerself. I opened my eyes again, and came upon the most curious sight before me. A giant stone door, shackled with golden chains, and golden locks, emblazoned with the burning golden glyph of the sun. The door itself was cracked, falling away, behind it were pale cold white hands, reaching for the chains, between them a sickening feeling, a color I couldnt describe, one that just looking at made my eyes hurt, my stomach turn, and the food I had ate that day to roll up my throat, and come out my mouth and nose. It burned as it did, my hands hurt as I fell to the ground before the door, my sickness hitting the ground with a noise that would make any other person nearby say “Ew”. It smelled of stomach acid, and fish, tuna, I always hated tuna, and now it was part of my worst nightmare.
The door bulged against its shackles, behind me was nothing but wilderness, trees as far as the eye could see. Above me was a cloudy sky, that spoke of the arctic north, beneath me was piles of snow, frozen ground that never thawed even in the light of spring. I stared at the door in the mountain and regret filled me from the inside. A dire need rose within me to touch the chains, just a slight disturbance towards the door would possibly put them within reach of those ever grasping hands. I had to stand up, to get away from here, I put my hand on my knee and started to rise. As I did I slipped on the snow, and my hand gripped the chain for support, all the hands needed in the end as the grabbed the chain as well and started pulling it towards them.
I feel guilt now, but then I felt nothing but terror, the noises from behind that door were inhuman, beyond of reasoning through them. I turned, stumbling as I did, and I started to run. I could hear the fragile magical metal bolts bend, I could hear when they snapped off their hinges, and broke in twine. I knew gold was great for seals of power, but couldn't withstand any real physical force, it was a soft metal. I could hear the rush of wind as the doors flew open so hard the stone cracked against the stone next to it, and then the world was above me as I was pulled off my feet. The feeling was weightless, unnatural, warm, and cruel all at once.
My lungs had given out for the amount of screaming I had done this day, it hurt to scream, but my body was too frightened and confused to understand that as I was pulled towards the open doorway. The hands grabbed me, they were warm, the grabbed all of me, pulled me closer, started to tear at my skin, to grab my limbs and pull them unnaturally. As the doors swung shut I could only hear one thing as the world went dark again. One single word rang through my mind as I was again left with nothing but my thoughts.
