Post by Kotone Lazarus on Jul 22, 2015 22:00:55 GMT
Kotone sighed. That was all she could do. She just sighed, touched the bridge of her nose with two fingers again, and glanced at him. "Victims aren't always innocent," she told him as she tugged at her jacket. She should have just ignored him once she discovered he'd cleaned up the mess already. She should have ignored him and left. Instead she was standing there, highly upset, part of her strangely feeling like crying, the other like crumbling the nearest wall. She was resisting the urge to do either of those things the best she could.
Raven didn't understand. He was still a child, like she had been when she met him. For everything he'd done he'd managed to dodge all the life lessons, all the responsibility, even any sort of self realization. "Sometimes they're even asking for it... but..." She needed to leave. Just never talk to him again. If she could be that lucky. There didn't appear to be any hope for them as friends even after all this time. "... it doesn't make it any less tragic," she finished as she began to walk outside once more.
There she was going again. He didn't really want her to go. Did he? Everyone else was gone. Even Draco. And he had a sinking suspicion this would be the last time he'd see her again if she left. Emotions were running high, and things he'd never said raced through his head. He found words floating through his head. Don't go. Stay. Don't leave me again. Why were those words there? He didn't want it. He didn't want that bond with her. He wanted... He wanted...
What did he want? He didn't know. He never knew. The world was always in trouble, and if it wasn't he'd kept himself busy. The last time he'd stopped to think about it all was when he was considering confessing about being a dragon slayer to her. And that he liked having her around. Before he realized what he was doing he found himself staring at Kotone's back.
"Wait," His voice quivered as he continued looking at her back. Though his gaze quickly shifted to the ground away from her. Quickly if she happened to turn around. He was silent for a moment. A long moment. Possibly too long before he spoke again. "Why... have you kept trying?"
Post by Kotone Lazarus on Jul 23, 2015 1:42:06 GMT
Kotone stopped at the word 'wait.' The young woman fully expected to have another excuse, retort, or insult. The man was full of them, and really had a way of making her regret ever befriending him in the first place. Why shouldn't she? He would never understand how much turmoil she'd been in from her own world falling apart at the time. She'd just lost to Tatsuma, realizing how weak she was physically in addition to emotionally.
"Because," she answered, her voice still subdued, possibly a little bit depressive sounding. "Unlike you claim you do, I valued our friendship." She couldn't say she currently did; it was hard to value what wasn't really there, as he'd proven multiple times. At that moment, Kotone was feeling the weight of it more than she normally allowed herself to.
She turned around, reaching up to take her hair out of its ponytail. Her hair fell with a shake of her head. "Do you actually want me to stay here?" she asked. It went without saying that her agreeing to do so didn't obligate her to, nor did it fix everything. She was still tempted to say it.
"If I'm honest I don't know what I want," Raven said after a long moment. Her words stung, but weren't unwarranted. So when he opened his mouth to retort, but physically bit his tongue instead. She was right as usual. And it burned him up inside. But then... he'd known nothing else. And being abandoned by her didn't help. "I haven't for a long time."
"...So... if you go you go," He said fumbling over his words. He blamed the blood loss. And his confusing emotions. And just... life. He blamed life. He'd fought for everyone for so long, he deserved a little something right? Some small happiness? He tried and failed to suppress a sigh as he looked up at her. "But if you stay I'll talk. I... don't really know what else to do."
He was pathetic. He knew it but he couldn't stop himself from offering. He'd been a wreck since Draco's death. He felt if he just dedicated his life to solitude outside helping people he'd atone for it all. But nothing had really changed... the guilt still weighed in on him, and on top of that he was hurt. It was probably the worst and best time to catch him. And he knew it.
Post by Kotone Lazarus on Jul 24, 2015 0:21:20 GMT
If she stayed... Raven would talk. That wasn't the most reassuring thing he could say. They'd talked a lot, but hadn't gotten anywhere in years. A few short months of fun had turned into years of bitterness, especially on Raven's end. Was it worth saving what they'd barely had? Kotone had wondered that a lot of times in the past. She'd laid awake wondering that since before she'd started dating Kade. She'd never truly come up with an answer after she'd been shut down so hard two meetings ago.
Still, the dragon slayer didn't move. She simply sighed, turned around, and placed her hands in her pockets. "What do you want to talk about?" she asked in a subuded voice. She wasn't angry at this point. She'd said her piece. She'd run out of things she felt like saying, and now... it was up to him. She brushed at her hair with her fingers again, her icy blue eyes searching Raven's face. He had one chance. How would he use it?
When Kotone turned around to face him, Raven could feel relief wash over him. But now what did he say? He didn't know. And it was frustrating. Trying to get his feelings understood by Kotone was a never ending war. He wanted to her to understand, but he always used the wrong words. So what did he say now? He let out a sigh as he tried to piece together something. Finally it hit him.
"How..." He began slowly. He paused to swallow as nervousness washed over him. He didn't know how to deal with the pain. So he always pushed it away and avoided more. It was one of the things he'd wanted to open up to Kotone about before. He looked up at her, sunglasses still blocking his eyes as he continued. "How do I make the pain go away so I can talk to you normally?"
Post by Kotone Lazarus on Jul 27, 2015 0:03:47 GMT
Kotone sighed. "Stupid question," she mumbled, sticking her hands in her jackets. Raven was so unbelievable. Behind that cocky grin and playboyish haircut (at least in Kotone's opinion), was a man who literally didn't know how to exist as a person when his life hadn't gone how either of them had liked. He'd existed bitter for all of these years in the hopes that she would somehow make it up to him while never giving her the chance. Maybe he didn't see it that way. Maybe it wasn't even technically accurate, but based on the way he talked...
"Raven, I don't know what you think 'normal' is between us anymore," she told him. "We traveled together for... what? Three or four months? It's been like... sixteen times longer than that that we've been at odds with each other." The female dragon slayer looked at him with what might have been a mix of confusion, and just plain annoyance. "There is no normal between us. We're not even the same people."
She raised a hand and instantly created an intricate, oversized snowflake made of ice. "We're both a lot more powerful, and have grown as people one way or another a ton. You might have been eighteen, but compared to now we were just stupid kids. Especially me." She didn't even hesitate to say the last part. "So you want to know how we return things back to 'normal?' Well... we don't. Because we can't. All that's left is to move forward, one way or another. We barely even know anything about each other at this point. Your best bet... is probably to just get to know the girl in front of you now instead of the similar looking one in your mind."
"...You misunderstand," Raven said in a subdued voice. It always had been about how she perceived things... She hadn't changed as much as she claimed she did. He scratched his head with mild frustration as he slowly shifted so he could get up. He still had to find tthe jewel. And figure out why that's all they wanted. "Though I guess it's my fault for being terrible with expressing how I feel."
"I don't want things tto go back to normal," He said shaking his head. "Or back then. I've not wanted that for a long time. I... I might be blinded by my own feelings, but I'm not that stupid. If that's what I really wanted I'd have tried to pry you and Kade apart. No... What I asked was... How do I deal with the pain so I don't get angry when I see you?"
"But I guess that answer is good enough..." He said grunting as he pushed himself up. He would treat the wound later. And a good night's sleep would go a long way towards fixing it. "I... all I can promise is that I'll try. We both know how stubborn I am."
Post by Kotone Lazarus on Jul 27, 2015 4:26:39 GMT
Perception was everything. To say that it was any different would be folly; Kotone could only perceive what Raven could express, and that is what she'd always done. No amount of changing would make her omnipotent.To be honest, it was hard to listen to Raven talk at this point as well. Everything he said, she just heard excuses or easily fixed problems. "I know how stubborn you are," she echoed in confirmation.
"As for how you deal with the pain? I don't know. I'm not you, and I barely know how to mother a kid who's less than half a year old, much less one that's older than me." It was probably a little bit more of an annoyed response than was needed. Oh well. "The point is, at one point you knew how to handle these things well enough to be my friend. I'm sure you can again if you want to badly enough, right?"
He opened his mouth to speak. Then he froze. She had a kid? Time really had flown by in the blink of an eye. He quickly squashed what iff thoughts that sprang to mind. None of that... He was fine alone, he didn't need to wonder if they'd gotten together if he'd fought with his feelings more. No, what he needed to do was move forward. She was right for the most part.
"A kid huh?" He spoke as he turned towards the tunnel he'd spotted before. If this room was barren then the stuff they took had to be further in. He slowly started walking, the pain dulling thanks to the rest and the ice cover. As long as he didn't have to fight anyone powerful for a day or two he'd be fine. He was always fine. Always getting back up.
"We should probably finish up here so you can get back," He said as he moved. He'd grab the rest of the stuff on his way out. After all, he'd be going that way anyway. Then he frowned. It already sounded like he was pushing her away again. Damnit! "Er... Because I'm sure you want to get back to them soon. I may not know you but... that's what any mother would want, right?"
Post by Kotone Lazarus on Jul 27, 2015 20:11:56 GMT
Kotone chuckled. "So you do know something about me. I can't help it. You may not believe this but I've always missed not having a family. Even before Krendall left." Most people didn't believe it. It was hilarious how much people had missed the more personable side of Kotone. It came out a lot more lately, for obvious reasons, but she still managed to convince the entire world she'd never even want any sort of family.
It was too bad that he had simply guessed something accurate rather than actually knowing that part about her. That part... wasn't really his fault. She'd hardly showed that side for him; vulnerability hadn't been something either of them were into, obviously. "The Council likes throwing me at things to make sure nothing goes wrong. It's a nice change, though... after a year it's taking more getting used to than I'd like to admit. I had to work really hard to get back into the shape I'm in."
"...We both did," Raven said quietly. Unlike her he'd come to accept he wouldn't have one. After all... If you're willing to kill your father figure, you don't exactly deserve to have a family. Shaking that off he continued down the tunnel. It stretched a ways, but thanks to his eyes he could see fairly well in the dark, even through the sunglasses. He still lit a small fireball for Kotone to see though.
"Well, it is a good year that you're not out and fighting like we used to," He said trying to be understanding. Of course... he'd never been unable to fight for more than a week at best, so his understanding only went so far. His voice was quieter as they moved. "Ignoring the council its..."
He cut himself off there unconscious as they moved. Feelings wasn't a thing he did often, and being so used to hiding them it'd become habit. So he hadn't realized he hadn't finished voicing what he thought. Instead he walked on in silence.
Post by Kotone Lazarus on Jul 28, 2015 3:34:01 GMT
Kotone just nodded. He wanted to hide his jealousy even though it was obvious to all present... moreso to her than him, perhaps. She walked quietly beside him down the hallway; there was a surprising lack of branching passageways for them to check. It was like this place had one purpose, and it was to be annoyingly long to walk down. "You can express your emotions, Blaze," she told him, opting to use the old nickname as she crossed her arms. "I know what you're thinking anyway. And for the record, it's not too late for you either."
She figured he'd disagree. He would insist he didn't deserve it. He was a terrible person who had killed his father figure and done so many other things wrong in his life. She'd heard the song in dance before, though in more denial-like words. "Look it's... just advice. From someone who only just barely managed to get her own act together."
"..." He opened his mouth to speak, but when she spoke about how she'd barely managed he forced his mouth shut. Even iif she said there was hope for him he didn't want to. He couldn't trust himself not too hurt people he got that close to. Before, he ddidn'tt trust others. Now... He didn't trust himself. And he couldn't forgive himself either.
"I..." He started to say something, but the tunnel finally opened up in a rather spacious room. It was dark, but from what light Raven was emitting there were some benches. He gave Kotone a glance before hurling the fireball into the room and making it burn brighter. He inhaled in surprise as the room lit up. "...W-what the...!?"
The walls were covered with pictures of dragons. Standing over them were what looked like people, but they had wings and tails. At the far end of the room was an alter with recently used incense and what looked to be random dragon styled items. He slowly walked towards the alter and stared down at the items. "What did... we just stumble on, Kotone?"
Post by Kotone Lazarus on Jul 29, 2015 0:50:40 GMT
"... some sort of dragon cult?" Kotone could only guess that much. She was surprised, but didn't react as much as Raven had. She'd been less distracted, and had excellent night vision due to her magically-enhanced vision. "That might explain why they wouldn't be fans of ours, what with our title and things."
Kotone paused as she said it, a thought crossing her mind. "Wait..." She approached the pictures. "These people... could they represent... us?" Had she gotten it backwards? Was it not a shrine to dragons, but to teh slayer of dragons? Where had this place come from, and why was it not some sort of history attraction at this point? Blue Pegasus and the former Magic Council had both been through the area hundreds of times recently, after all.
The dragon slayer wasn't sure how to take all of this. If this was a shrine to her and Raven and people like them... what did it mean? It looked pretty old, so she doubted her initial guess.
